We had the privilege of hearing Connie Suderman. share about her life and marriage during our Morning Carelink meeting this past week. I'm not going to retell her private story on our blog, but I am sharing some comments she made and takeaways she shared with us. She said if any of the ladies in the group had reason to call and speak to her, she'd be happy to do so. Please look up her number in the First MB Church directory.
"...all those expectations...(the in-love feelings, storybook romances, happily-ever-afters, perfect children, perfect balance, perfect life, things you've read or watched that played into your marriage expectations)...we carry them with us as we step on board the train ride of marriage."
"...when I met David, I knew he was someone really special." She reminded us to REMEMBER what brought you together. "...don't forget those beautiful things from the beginning." What activities did you enjoy doing early in your dating lives? What qualities did you love about him? What things brought joy and love and happiness? When you're going through a rough spot, these are the things that can draw you back together.
"...he was my greatest love and deepest sorrow." (Side note by me...I thought this was profound. We don't have to face some of the trials Connie did, to identify on some level with this statement. 'love-hate'. Don't know what I'd do without you, but you drive me crazy. Those sorts of things. But it was also profound to me in that God must feel the same about us! We are His greatest love - he gave up His Son. Jesus gave up His life. Yet, we must cause Him such grief sometimes.)
"...God was the source of my provision on all levels, mental/emotional/physical. Not my husband. I had to stop clinging to God in fear of falling and know that He was there, holding me. "Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
"...and I discovered that my sense of security had nothing to do with what I held onto, but what I was able to let go of." Psalm 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Don't be unrealistic in your expectations.
Ask God to protect your marriage and your family.
Learn to see yourself and others through the eyes of God.
Do date nights! At least once a month.
Let people help you. Give you support during times in your life when you need it.
Messy Spirituality by Michael Yakinelli
If This Isn't Love, Then God Show Me What Is
Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
Embracing Brokenness by Nelson